Everything you need to know about BDSM

According to the current International Classification of Diseases, sadomasochism is a disorder of sexual preference. But modern science confirms that people who practice BDSM do not suffer from mental disorders. And a major Dutch study has confirmed that those practicing BDSM are psychologically healthier than other people. They are more open to new experiences and less prone to mental disorders. According to various estimates, from 2% to 65% of the total population of the planet are prone to BDSM. The first ones, i.e., the minority, show the involvement in real BDSM practices. The second are predisposed to sexual fantasies.

There are many people who want to try BDSM, although not everyone can openly admit it. And they all wonder where to start and what attributes you need to own.

First, let's make it clear what BDSM stands for:

• B&D – bondage and discipline
• D/S – dominance and submission
• S&M – sadism and masochism ( pleasure from inflicting the pain and satisfaction from pain)

All these principles of BDSM are based on the compliance with the three postulates of this culture, which follow from another abbreviation - SSC, which stands for Safe, Sane and Consensual.

And here are 5 tips to guide you into BDSM:

Talk to your partner about this

This is exactly the case when the surprise effect will not get you the result you wanted. Perhaps your partner will not like it if you suddenly tie them up to the bed during sex or take out a whip from under the pillow. Think about what kind of BDSM you would like to try. Tell your partner about your desires. Just make it clear that you don't want to hurt them. This is just one of the options to bring new sensations to your intimate life. Remember that BDSM is a voluntary process that you both need to enjoy.

Don't pressure them

Everything must be done by mutual consent. So you will have to try to genuinely interest your partner. If they are absolutely against it, try to tactfully convince them otherwise. You can show a video or photo of what excites you. That often works.

Negotiate the limits of what is allowed

In advance, you need to discuss what BDSM props you will use and with what kind of force. If you plan to use, for example, a whip, do not forget to test it on yourself first. Please note that your partner's pain threshold is most likely to be different from yours. And be sure to talk about the taboo concept (actions that you will not be allowed to apply to your partner at all).

Come up with a safe word

Safe words are another important element of BDSM. These words mean that after uttering them, you need to stop immediately. Do not use the words "stop" or "don't", because they can be perceived by the partner as part of the game. Often practicing BDSM couples use the stop word " red " (by analogy with a traffic light signal). The words "green" (continue) and "yellow" (slower or easier) are also used.

Do not forget about caring and being gentle

In BDSM culture, there is still such a thing as "aftercare". It means that you need to caress, kiss your partner or bring them water after the session or during it.

If you have agreed with your partner and decided to give BDSM a try, you do not need to buy any additional props yet. Take advantage of what you have at home. For flogging, a belt can come in handy. With a handkerchief, you can blindfold the eyes, and tie up your partner with a tie. If the first experience ended with success, and you two loved it, then you can think about buying some props.

Here's what you can buy:

Flogger

This is a whip with many tails. BDSM beginners should make a choice in favor of floggers made of suede or velvet. Flogging with them is less painful. When you have some experience, you can switch to leather floggers. But it is not advised to choose this prop longer than 60 centimeters, it will be difficult to manage.

Paddle

This device is a short pole with a broad blade imitating the palm of a person's hand. The heavier the paddle, the more painful it is. Therefore, for the first time, it is better to choose a silicone paddle. You should always start the hitting with the buttocks. If the partner does not mind, you can keep going up to the back. The chest and face are the most sensitive areas. Such slaps are practiced by ones already experienced in BDSM and last of all.

Stack

This is a long handle with a soft tail. It is used mainly not for flogging, but for discipline. For example, in the B&D you can hit the nipple as a punishment.

Rope

For beginners, it is better to choose cotton to avoid skin irritations.

Bracelet with carabiner clamps

You can use them to lock in one of the partners. It is important to choose bracelets with a soft inner surface.

So, BDSM is not the torment of a partner, and certainly not the choice of mentally ill people. This is one of the ways to diversify your intimate life and get new sensations from sex. BDSM couples say that its practice brings intimacy to a whole new level and builds more trust between partners. But this can be achieved only if the partners set the limits of what is allowed in advance and never violate them. If you are new to BDSM, then start with the simplest - with spanking or binding. This will make it clear for you whether it is your thing or not. If so, then you can safely continue to comprehend the world of BDSM culture.